303 ~ Oh, so you have a list?

You say you want a certain kind of girl
That you have it all planned out in your head
But one day I’ll help you to realize
I’ll be the best thing you never intended instead

Some people make lists
Of what they want to see
What they want from a lover
To be exactly how they want them to be

Besides the important things
Like faithfulness and trust
Respectful, kind and caring
Those things are definitely a must

But to the rest of the things
I find them all lame
People aren’t lists
No two individuals are the same

If I end up meeting someone
Who thinks inside the box
I want to show them what it feels like
When true love really knocks

Write stories in their book of life
The ink spilling in rainbow hues
Be the greatest adventure they’ll ever have
To which they’d have no clue

I’ll probably be nothing like they wanted
Make them think of things unexpectedly
Open their eyes to a different side of the world
Inspire them to be the best that they could be

They’ll think they’ve got it all figured out
But let’s take a moment to be true
There may be things you don’t even know you want
Until it’s standing right in front of you

I’m finding these questionnaires on these dating websites a waste of time, and some even way too personal. You want to match me using your scientific algorithms based on peoples answers *rolls eyes*. Why would I want someone exactly like me and where is the fun in that? People think they know what they want, and in some cases that may be true. But I’d rather take my chances on accidentally finding someone who can broaden my horizons – now that is what I call living. And I hope whoever is sent my way, will appreciate that too.

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

a023_24 copy
I’ll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough

97 thoughts on “303 ~ Oh, so you have a list?

  1. Having a list of criterior that lovers are supposed to embody is a bit like travelling to a foreign place and having a checklist of all the important places you are supposed to visit and take a picture and show all the folks back home, thus validating that you were there. Sad to shackle love this way, where is the mystery? I think people make lists to convince themselves not to take risks.

    • Very true. Some people have this expectation of who they want to meet or what they think is the ideal person. Setting limitations on love or life experiences is ridiculous in my opinion. Some may be comfortable with that, and that is fine. But I don’t think one should subject themselves to bullet points. There is so much in this world to see and feel. Such is the wonder of life. Life is short, make that time count and step outside your comfort zone once in awhile. You never know what you might find. 😀

      • I think these high expectations are a way of self-protection. If I cannot find what I am looking for (because of too high expectations) than I cannot get hurt. I am not saying this is the way I think I am just trying to imagine what those are going through who are producing lists of idealization than no one can meet.

  2. Hey, you’re smiling! How cute! This poem is so the truth, I need to bookmark it and come back. So well written! Love your thoughts on the dating websites, hahahaha, cracks me up.

    • Yeah, I don’t have much of those photos on here. Thought I’d give it a whirl tonight.

      Can’t believe I have to answer like a thousand questionnaires to meet my “perfect match.” I haven’t even completed my profile because of my protest to this. I shall finish it by this weekend I hope. ^_^

      • Hehe, can’t wait to read some of your online dating stories. 😀

        And yes, more smiling pics, you have such a pretty smile, would be a shame to keep it hidden.

        • LOL! I told my friend Jp that I’ll help her start this so she can find a man, and so that I can have material for my WordPress, haha ^_^ Partial joke, partial truth.

          Thank you. I don’t know why I don’t have that many pictures of me smiling 😦 Didn’t really notice til I went through my files.

  3. Ah Britt, you and your love! Testify to love…..well, it is true that the Taj Mahal was built for love….a testament – a public display….the dating sites sound awful, but are probably no worse than a bar full of drunks like me,….if you know what I mean. I still think, as I suspect you do, that love is just around the corner, the guy at the photocopier. And yes, it is true, you are ravishingly beautiful. And this blog shows that it is not just the way you look either. So I have no doubts about your future, and how happy it could be! But still, you write of love in a way that is kind and delicate….I wish I could do that….when I tried, it turned into my latest raging thing called Leviathan. But as you advise yourself, you may not know you want, until it is standing right in front of you….just heed those wise words of yours!

  4. The funny thing is that most people aren’t even honest in their answers to those questions, so the algorithm is really just matching up fictional people anyway! Its just like the real dating world, people will misrepresent themselves because they are trying to impress the other person. It usually takes quite a while for someone to feel comfortable enough to reveal their true selves; which is interesting because for those people that have lists, honesty is usually the number one thing on there!

    • Oh great, so now I can be matched up with liars… hahahaha. I guess you are right in the fact that it is like the real dating world with people misrepresenting themselves. 😛

      • Hahaha not liars exactly, just people who are upselling their “good” attributes and not mentioning their “bad” ones. Take my friend for example (the one that’s on a dating website), he still lives with his mother, he has 2 DUI’s which means he can’t drive and he never went to college. If he were to put those things on his profile he would never get a date at all so he waits a few dates until they get to know him before he drops the bomb on them haha! He is actually a really great guy but most women will never look past one or all of those things but those are not who he is as a person, they are simply circumstantial and will likey change in the future. Many people are so quick to judge a book by its cover that they never bother to read it, even though it could be a best seller!

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  6. I feel like the questions are there just so people feel like they are getting your money’s worth. Otherwise you’d just be creeping on pictures.

  7. Sounds to me like you have a list, as I think we all inevitably do. Otherwise, we would all be compatible with everyone. Let’s face it, some will just never be good enough.

    • I do to a certain extent. But some of these lists are really particular – down to the color of someone’s hair, degree that they should have, income bracket that one should fall in, car they drive. I have nothing against those that have a particular standard or list. I just find it silly in my opinion 🙂 I fell in love with someone once that was outside of what I was normally searching for, and it was an amazing experience. I’m open to any and all possibilities.

  8. I just find it funny that by answering these questions you are then matched up with someone so that you can then answer the same questions again. Might be the lazy person living in my body saying this but that sounds like a lot of work.

    I have never made a list of things I wanted in a partner just seems a bit confining. Invariably when I have been lucky enough to find love the “list” of what I want is embodied by a name and just like the name the list changes each time I fall.

    I have no idea if this will translate but there is a word we use in Scotland to describe a picture like that OOOFFFFT. 🙂

    • I know right? My sentiments exactly. But I have to fill them all out before I can even begin and I don’t think I have it in me to complete it. It’s very time consuming and is cutting into my WordPress time!

      WordPress > Internet Dating Site

      Anyday.

      I used to, and I was very particular until someone walked into my life a decade ago and changed that view for me forever.

      Hahahahah, not sure how that translates, but I will take it as a compliment ^_^

      • OOOFFFFT : translation, to have ones breath taken away involuntarily or by surprise. A expression of appreciation for extreme hotness. A truly Scottish term that really doesn’t translate yet but will when people in other countries start to appreciate its meaning and the compliment it bestows.

        OK so I may never work for the Oxford dictionary coming up with descriptions but I think that sums it up 🙂

  9. I love that poem!! 🙂 And that is so true! I can remember making lists of things I MUST have in a future partner when I was about 16 – I’ve got the terrible evidence written in a diary! What a load of rubbish all my words were, but I didn’t know that, because I was still only a child really! The only two things I really need in someone today, is honesty, and and NOT boring! I can’t cope with dull minded sleepy people, and the problem is that the older you get the more of those you meet – aaahhh!

    Filling out questionnaires is something I refuse to do! How you are not going crazy doing all that I don’t know!! It’s a pity they don’t just let people just spill out their thoughts on the website on a daily basis and then you could browse the words, and you’d soon discover who was real and who was fake, it would all come out in the words! But I think that’s called blogging! 😀

    Lists of answers as to what a person is like and what they want in a partner is not very accurate. Some people might not even know what they want, they might want to broaden their thinking and meet people very different to what they have known.

    Opposites are often better than two people the same. I think someone very like me would drive me crazy – I drive myself crazy sometimes, I don’t want another me! 😯

    And if you find someone who thinks inside the box, close the lid, stick it down with a lot of sticky tape, send him back and get a refund! 😆

    • Me too!! Actually it’s in a word document on my computer. I’ve kept it just so I can laugh at how silly I was back then to try and categorize the “perfect man” for me, hahaha. Oh yes, you can’t have someone boring. That would suck the life out of me. Gotta keep things interesting or else the relationship will fall flat on its face.

      Yes, but it is a requirement unfortunately. I haven’t gone back to complete it, but I’m sure Jp will egg me to do it this weekend when we start on her profile. And yes! Why can’t it be more like blogging? 😦

      Chemistry also plays a very important role. My girls and I were having a discussion about this. Some people you automatically click with, and there are some people that you won’t get along with no matter how hard you try.

      I used to want someone exactly like me. But that would be maddening, lol! It’s nice to have a fine balance of similarities and also differences.

      Hahahah oh Suzy. Perhaps I should do that instead, but you never know. 😀

  10. Reblogged this on Ekhava and commented:
    Not walking the path that all seem to follow may be hard but true love demands it. When you walk, live, breath, and speak true love you then find your true self and, maybe, even your true love.

  11. I love when life’s dots connect like this. I just got off the phone talking to a friend and we were discussing this whole list idea. I look for the things that I feel help battle life’s ups and downs. Just a few would be: communication and love are a close tie for first, ability to laugh at themselves, open-minded, patient, slow to anger and dedication to “us”. You’ve done it again Britt. You’re growing on me 🙂

    • You are growing on me as well ^_^

      I saw your About Me. Can’t believe I missed that. You are AMAZING. That whole section left me speechless and that’s very rare for a chatterbox like me. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best on your recovery. ♥

      We definitely have to grab that cup of coffee. Summer time it is 🙂

      • How delightful 🙂

        That’s ok because maybe you would have thought I was amazing too early then ;). And Thank You! Glad you weren’t speechless for long. Thanks for taking time to look at it. Such a kind one you are 🙂

        Awesome, wish I was there tomorrow. Even though I don’t drink coffee, ha.

  12. Hey, sorry for the spam, but would you mind if I sketch this photo? Can’t guarantee it will turn out any good, but I like this pose, should prove challenging.

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  14. nicely done !! like the line, “who thinks inside the box.” i’m a list of poems and it’s all i got…hahaha. as to dating sites, they are a complete rip off as I see it. most of the time they take profiles from other ones. then if you do sign up for them there are only a handful to choose from even they are legitimate to begin with.

    • Thank you. Decided to give it a shot, had my first date a couple of days ago. It was terrible so I deleted my account, haha. In the meantime, I’m just going to focus on my writing 😀

  15. Like the subject and rhythm to the poem. Never liked those match websites, actually never been in one. Can´t understand it, life is life you might find someone or not, find someone that´s completely different from you but has certain attributes that you fall in love with, and if there is true love then I guess you have to love the person for what he or she is, can´t change people.

    • Thank you. Yeah, it seems very unnatural but many have recommended it and its’ success. I’m used to just meeting people randomly in life so the whole web dating thing is new to me. No one is ever going to be an exact match of what you want, but there is a sense of fun and adventure in that. It helps broaden your horizons. And I agree on loving someone for all that they are, and I don’t believe in trying to change people.

  16. I like your rhyme, its simple and conveys honesty, its nice to see rhyme when many do not appreciate it as writers. And for people who are as thoughtful and open as poets, those websites are a dungeon haha

  17. The photo is beautiful. I believe woman control life. If they desire someone in their life. They must open doors with a smile or a hello. Lists mean little when love comes a calling. Thank you for the amazing poetry.

    • Thank you John, and I believe everyone has control if they have faith and desire it. Too many people makes lists – this isn’t grocery shopping. I am open and welcoming to any future surprises.

  18. I wrote an article for a magazine called savior flare a few years ago and it was about finding the perfect partner. In it I wrote about the list. I had heard on Oprah I think about writing a list of a hundred characteristics that you want in a partner and I wrote about my journey in accomplishing this list. But I have discovered since than that even if you find those hundred things right there is still a hundred more things you can’t account for. I haven’t figured out the perfect algorithm or what feels right. I have a partnership that includes no angst or hostility but there is still doubt…. people are not lists people are not who they say they are online or in person they are so much more complex! you need to follow your instincts to what feels right what makes you feel open and happy… your words are honest and sweet don’t ever stop trying to figure it out this is what we are here for…
    love and light
    michelle

    • Finding the “perfect” partner is a bit elusive. We can definitely write lists but we won’t be able to cover all the bases. Previously I had thought that I wanted someone similar to me – figured we’d get along better that way, but I’ve met a few men outside my comfort zone and they were able to challenge me and show me things I would have never seen, discuss ideas from a different perspective. And it dawned on me… we can’t grow in still stagnant water. We need the river to flow, refresh. Until then, I’ll let the universe speak and let it bring love to me when the time is right and ready. Love and light to you as well. ♥

      • very well spoken, I have tried connecting with people on so many different levels some very similar to me, others so very different, some very attractive others not so much.for me it’s not about what someone looks like or does but what they believe in and what they are to their family that is at the core of my searching..I like being challenged in a way that opens me up and makes me want to jump out of my skin and learn more about life. I like to jump in head over heals and surf the waves!!! …above all listening to the universe and the rhythm of your own heart is the most important as you know well… happy holidays
        michelle

        • It’s all an experience, and an eye-opening one if we are willing to embrace the good and bad that comes with it. The people we meet help mold us and shape our outlook and ideas. And yes, listening to the universe and ones own heart is of the utmost importance. *hugs* Happy Holidays to you as well. ♥

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