290 ~ Zodiac

We hiss, we rattle
We wrestle, we ache
Coiled in the grass
In the Year of the Snake

We bite, we poison
The venom will take
Intoxicate our blood
In the Year of the Snake

No elixir, no cure
Can fix this mistake
The pain takes hold
In the Year of the Snake

You suffocate my heart
So before it can break
I’ll shed my skin of you
In the Year of the Snake

♥

Lips that need no introduction
Now who’s the greater sin

YSYour drab eyes seem to invite
Tell me darling, where do we begin?

35 thoughts on “290 ~ Zodiac

  1. I love the last verse! It could be a song! I hear this to a slow beat deep rhythm house-type music in my head. Like “Deep” by Nine Inch Nails. The last part has a light feeling to it, though. Like dropping a burden and breathing easier. Excellent piece here. 🙂

    • You are absolutely right. The ending is supposed to be about dropping that burden so that I could breathe easier. I’m glad that thought was conveyed properly. I kept editing this one in hopes that the words would fall as such, thank you for your feedback and confirmation ♥

  2. I can certainly identify with this piece here. I can feel the pain and anger and then the eventual release from it all by shedding the skin. I have a comparable snake concept called, “All The Way Into Bella” but it’s a brighter piece when things were much better.

  3. Yes, this is one of your finest poems, pulling lots of stuff together, terse and sharp. Love it. Great band,…just rock and roll and nothing wrong with that. Funny name though, I always thought.

    • Suzy and Charron were the ones that fired me up for this poem here. Plus it is the Chinese Zodiac for this year so I thought I’d play around with that idea.

      I actually love the name! Not sure what it means or how they came about it but I stumbled upon them when someone left their CD in my car, of which I still may have from years ago. They have some great songs that mean a lot to me.

      • Yes – it is really good…..I love it when someone really nails something… as for the name it has the word “Berlin” in it….or maybe not.

  4. “I’ll shed my skin of you”. Very nice.
    Love Anberlin too. We got to see them live a few years back. And, the rhythm guitar player grew up in our church. Keep writing. Good stuff.

  5. I don’t know how you keep these coming every day at such high quality. I enjoy reading all of your work, the last few have been particularly nice. I like the structure of this. How about a series, year of the Rat has some potential. I agree with one of the earlier posters, seems like a neat idea for a song.

    • Hmm, haven’t thought about doing a series for the zodiacs before. My mind is a jumble and I normally just write about what I’m inspired of at the moment, but it is a good idea. I started an Epidemic series but gave up on that. We shall see 😀 As for it being an idea for a song, music means a lot to me so if my words sound like a good idea for a song, than that is a huge compliment, thank you.

  6. Snakes!!! 😯 This is an excellent poem Brit! 🙂 Shedding the skin of something bad is a great idea for the year of the snake! I shall be doing some of that myself this year, altering my life, trying to sort out my sleepless problems and stupid panic attacks, those sorts of annoying cling on things – they need to go! This is the year of the new you!! 😀

    • I remember that picture you had up on your flash fiction story of Serpents and Wolves. I had been meaning to write a piece since you inspired it but it took me some time to piece it together. Then Charron’s photo of snakes in the grass recently propelled the completion.

      I hope you find some peace with the sleep issue and panic attacks. They definitely need to go. Here’s to a good year of shedding the bad and taking control over the outcome and aspects of our lives. *cheers*

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